Three Men in a Boat (Not to mention the dog)
Adapted extract from Chapter XV of Jerome K. Jerome comedy classic about ‘messing around on boats’. In this episode (‘J’ based on the author) describes the perils of punting on the Thames. Audio & link to original text below
Punting is not as easy as it looks. It takes long practice before you can handle the craft, without getting the water all up your sleeve.
One young man I knew had a very sad accident the first time we went punting. It started well for him. Soon he was walking up and down the punt, walking his pole in a fine style.
Up he marched to the head of the punt, where he planted his pole. Then he ran along right to the other end.
Unfortunately his confidence undid him. While looking around to enjoy the scenery, he took one step too many. He walked off the punt altogether.
The pole was firmly fixed in the mud. He was left clinging to it while the punt drifted away.
It was an undignified position for him. A rude boy on the bank immediately called out to his chum. “Look over there! A monkey on stick!”
I could not go to his assistance because we had not taken a spare pole with us. I could only sit and look at him. I shall never forget his expression as the pole slowly sank with him.
I watched him gently go down into the water. Then he scrambled, sad and wet. I could not help laughing — he looked so ridiculous. I continued to chuckle to myself about it for some time. Then I realised that I had got very little to laugh about.
Here was I, alone in a punt without a pole. The boat was drifting helplessly, possibly towards a weir!
I drifted on for about a quarter of a mile. Then I saw a fishing boat, moored in midstream. They saw me an called out, “What are you doing? You’re going to crash into us.”
“I can’t steer it,” I cried. “I don’t have a pole!”
Luckily they caught me and lent me a pole. The weir was just fifty yards below.
You can access the complete original text for Three Men in a Boat here.
